The changing of the seasons as we enter into the cold winter months, can impact significantly on our psychology and overall mood. It’s long been recognized that serotonin levels tend to drop during the shorter days and longer nights of winter—a phenomenon often referred to as the ‘Winter Blues’ and medically known as ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’ (SAD). But how might this impact our thinking when it comes to seeking romance?
Lower serotonin levels can lead to feelings of greater anxiety and loneliness that are only likely to increase our desire for companionship and to become close to someone else. We are responding naturally, seeking warmth in a colder world, and this can mean the warmth that love and romance can bring into our lives, and not just in a practical sense, of wanting to nudge up the dial on our central heating, put another log on the fire or dig out the heavy winter quilt. The idea of having someone close for us to hold and to snuggle up with, is particularly appealing to us when that north wind starts to blow and the evenings are drawing in.
In modern dating parlance, the term ‘Cuffing’ has become a top search term on Google over the winter months. ‘The Cuffing Season’ is defined by The Oxford English Dictionary as the time of year over the winter months, when people who are unattached, can feel more highly motivated to be in a relationship. The term probably originated from the African American vernacular, to suggest being handcuffed to someone.
It’s possible our feelings are being influenced at this time of the year, by the approach of the Christmas festivities, which many consider best enjoyed when there are two together as a couple, rather than just the one of us. Invitations come to us through email, texts or the post, inviting us to dressy occasions where we might dance the night away and how much more fun might that event be, if we were to be in the arms of someone we could just be falling in love with?
There can also so often be pressure from our family and friends who are asking us if we are still single or asking, ‘Have you met someone interesting?’ How nice to say by reply, ‘Well there is someone…’ So, we may well find we are seeking to become attached to a new partner in these colder months and having this greater level of motivation can certainly help make this into becoming a reality for us.
When we are less motivated, it is easier to turn down those opportunities as they come along, to do nothing and continue with our life just as before. Conversely, when that level of motivation goes up within us, so does our willingness to give things a go with someone new.
How Personal Matchmaking Can Spark Winter Connections
The professional matchmakers at Country Partners know from experience that clients who might have hummed and hawed over a prospective match in the past, will show a distinct tendency of saying ‘yes’ to promising personal introductions as the winter months come along, and especially when Christmas is just around the corner. And saying yes to a match that has been chosen for us, means there is the potential to fall in love and to find our soulmate. Not only are executive matchmaker’s clients increasingly likely to accept a good match from their matchmaker in these winter months, but they are also more receptive to the other person when first speaking to them. They can find that they will prioritise that important first call and will really look forward to the first date. They ensure they do not appear rushed or preoccupied and that the vibes they give out will be encouraging and inviting.
Matchmakers with experience, often talk to their clients about being in the right mindset to allow a new relationship the best opportunity of flourishing. Within the winter months, this mindset can often more naturally to the fore, assisting us greatly in the art of matchmaking, and many a great relationship has become established in these cold winter months, helped along by this remarkable seasonal effect.
Of course, it’s important that we fall in love with someone who can make us happy and who is compatible, but we also have to be ready, in the correct frame of mind initially, to first engage positively with someone new for the possibility for love to have the best chance of coming about, and these frosty days and nights of winter might well be the best time of year for that natural warmth of human connection to blossom into lasting love.
Winter Relationships: The Research Behind the Phenomenon
Martin Graff, a senior lecturer in the psychology of relationships, has suggested that this phenomenon of our particularly seeking a partner in the winter months, may also have an evolutionary element – that our ancestors would have been driven to seek out others if alone, for greater safety and warmth during the far more challenging winter period, when food was likely to be scarce and the longer periods of darkness could present more danger.
Polish researchers Buguslaw Pawlowski and Piotr Sorokowski in their 2008 study, noted men’s judgements of female attractiveness do vary by the season, finding images of the same women dressed the same way, as being more attractive in the winter period when compared to seeing the same image in the summer months.
It’s also possible that winter brings us better opportunities for finding romantic ways in which we can meet up with someone new. The winter provides great settings in which to have a romantic first date, when those first impressions are so important. Once those Christmas decorations go up, the world that is around us becomes full of attractive lights and sparkle, and the music we hear also plays on our mood. Carols are piped in shops and will come over the radio, and even though we may well profess to finding this irritating, it can easily impact positively on our underlying psychology and state of mind, turning our thoughts away from the humdrum of day to day activities and more towards the enjoyment of sharing special times with others and to thinking about things that can excite and stimulate us, such as enjoying a new romance amidst all of this seasonal sparkle.
When meeting someone new in the winter, there are plenty of options to find that romantic seeking so conductive to spark feelings of attraction and romance. Crisp country walks are an obvious option with many of us enjoying stepping into a cosy country pub afterwards for a warming drink. There are skating rinks set up ahead of Christmas, perhaps at a local stately home, which can be a fun and novel experience to share with someone new. We might also enjoy an intimate dinner by candlelight as we get to know our date. All of these options can be excellent settings that are conducive to creating the perfect atmosphere for a meaningful and romantic connection.
Is the Festive Period the Right Time for Love? Final Thoughts
As I write this blog, there is fresh snow lying on the ground through my window. Living in the Cotswolds, it looks rather like a traditional Christmas card out there, evoking memories of earlier years which perhaps I am seeing through the rose-tinted spectacles of nostalgia. The snowy scene reminds me of happy childhood experiences, of coming in from the cold to a warm fire in the grate. My thoughts are not of the frozen toes that I probably had on such days, but on hot chocolate served in steaming mugs. And these pleasant, nostalgic musings also involve remembering special times spent together with people I have loved. There is a natural juxtaposition of the cold and darkening scene beyond my window that contrasts with the warmth and love I know a new relationship can bring into our lives. This is why I am sure the winter snow and frost can so easily help lead us on to finding romance.
Listening to BBC radio 4 just the other day, I caught part of a poem being read out. I think it was by Michael Morpurgo and it was talking about the very first snowfall of winter and the feelings and thoughts that this first snow of the winter season can bring to mind. It spoke repeatedly of loved ones and the strong desire within us to be together with those that we hold dear. The words resonated very strongly with me and I’m sure, with other listeners too. Listening to the poem, I found I was more connected with deep emotions within my own psyche, becoming more aware of the closeness and togetherness that love brings into my life, especially in the wintertime.Given the psychological impact the winter season so easily has upon us, it is not surprising that matchmaking and dating agencies such as Country Partners find they are particularly busy with unattached people getting in touch, wanting to find out if the personal matchmaking service they provide could help to find someone special for the winter period, and hopefully beyond that. If you would like to hear how Country Partners could help you to find love this winter, then why not get in touch today? We would be delighted to speak to you.